Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
Murai hadn't been to school for one week.
That morning I was having trouble getting up, and the curtains weren't open. When I realized this, I had a sad premonition.
I got out of my futon and walked around the house. The floorboards were cold against my feet. I heard nothing but the low hum of the refrigerator in the deathly quiet. Suddenly the kitten meowed. It sounded like a child that had lost its parents as it wandered around the house, its voice full of anxiety and confusion. I knew that she was no longer here. The kitten must have been searching for Yukimura, unable to find her. This was the first time it had ever been truly separated from its owner.
I sat in a chair. This was the table where Yukimura listened to the radio at night. I sat there and thought of her for a long time, silent.
I knew this day would come. And I predicted that I would be plagued with the sense of her loss. I understood all of it. I would just be going back to what it was like before. I could close the windows and lock myself away in my box-like room, just as I had intended in the first place.
If I had done that, I wouldn't have been feeling this kind of sadness.
It's painful to be connected with something. If I hadn't met anyone, I would never have felt envy, jealousy, or rage. If I had never grown close to anyone, I would never have experienced the pain of parting from them.
She was murdered. What had she really been thinking as she lived here after that? When I thought that she might have cried in despair at what had been done to her, my chest grew tight.
I'd always wished I could give her part of my own lifespan. If it meant she could live again, I wouldn't mind dying. As long as I could see her and the kitten happy, I'd ask for nothing else.
What was my life worth, in the first place? Why did she have to die, instead of me?
It took me a long time to notice the strange envelope on top of the table. I sprang forward and took it in my hands. It was a simple yellow envelope. It was addressed to me in her handwriting. From: Saki Yukimura.
I opened the envelope with trembling fingers. Inside, there was a single photograph and a slip of paper.
It was a photograph of myself and the kitten. I was laid out alongside the kitten, sleeping, an expression of perfect happiness on my face. It was maybe the most peaceful face I'd ever seen myself make in my life; a face I'd never seen in the mirror; a face that she saw through her unique filter.
I read the letter.
Sorry for taking a picture of you sleeping without asking. You just looked so cute, I took it before I realized what I was doing.
It's the first time I've been able to write this well. It's kind of weird. I felt like we'd developed some kind of communication between us, so I didn't think a letter was necessary. The next thing I knew us two and the kitten were living together, nestled close.
But I have to go soon. I wanted to be with you, and with the kitten, forever, but I can't do it. I'm sorry.
You probably don't know how grateful I am to you. I'm already dead but every day was really fun. I'm glad I met you. God is wonderful to have given me such a great gift. Thanks. We didn't always know what one another was thinking, or understand each other. We just had each other at our side. That was enough. I am dead and I had no one to rely on, but that made me happy. And plus, you didn't peek into my room or change it around.
The kitten died, didn't it. It's so sad. It might not realize that it's dead yet. That's how I was - I went about my daily life, without realizing I'd been killed. But the kitten will find out sooner or later that its dead, too. And I think it will leave you as well. But I don't want you to be sad when that time comes.
I don't think I'm unhappy; I don't think the kitten is either. There are a million things in this world that make you want to give up hope. There are times that you'll wish you had no eyes, and no ears.
But there are things so beautiful they make you want to cry, millions of them, in this world too. I've seen things so wonderful that I can't breathe. I'm thankful that this world exists, and that I got to be a part of it - even though it was only a small part. I always felt that way when I steady the camera and release the shutter. I was murdered, but I love this world. I can't help loving it. So I don't want you to hate it.
I want to tell you this: look at the photo I put with this letter. You've got a great expression on your face. You're a part of this limitless, beautiful world too. So doesn't that make you one of the things that I love with all my heart?
Saki Yukimura
The kitten wandered throughout the house, but never found her; it twined itself around my feet. After a pause I called out to it, happily, thinking I'd try to cheer it up.
Summer break had begun and there was no need to go to school. I thought I'd clean and do the laundry. But first, I would open up the curtains and the window, and let in some air.
I stood on the porch and looked at the garden, where the plants were shimmering in the sunlight. The limitless sky, the tall clouds and the sun swept over my head. The tomatoes in the vegetable garden were red and sparkling with beads of water.
Half a year ago, she lived in this world.
She walks down a small, long road to nowhere in particular, a camera hanging from her neck. On either side are wide pastures, the whole of it green. The wind is warm and sweet, and invigorates her. Her steps are as light as air, her mouth open in a natural smile. There is an boy-like innocence in her eyes, and she lifts her head high; she is waiting for the adventure that is set to begin. The road continues far ahead. The blue sky and the land stretch on until they touch.
I thanked her from the bottom of my heart: we didn't have very long, but thank you for being by my side.
2011-08-20
"PONPONPON" - Kyary Pamyu Pamyu
So this song came out the very middle of July and became a favorite of mine by the end of July. I meant to put the lyrics up earlier in the month but you know how it is. When I translated it earlier I had some questions about some of the lyrics; the general consensus is that they're pretty vague overall so you might have a different interpretation, but here is the feedback I got from the lang-8 community.
Also, I found an interesting blog post about Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and the video, which also has a different translation; check it out at the source: An Eternal Thought in the Mind of Godzilla.
The video is awesome (in any of the various senses of the word).
Also, I found an interesting blog post about Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and the video, which also has a different translation; check it out at the source: An Eternal Thought in the Mind of Godzilla.
The video is awesome (in any of the various senses of the word).
あの交差点で みんながもしスキップをして もしあの街の真ん中で手をつないで空を見上げたら もしもあの街のどこかでチャンスがつかみたいのなら まだ泣くのには早いよね ただ前に進むしかないわいやいや PONPON 出して しまえばいいの ぜんぜん しないの つまらないでしょ ヘッドフォンかけて リズムに乗せて WAYWAY空けて あたしの道を PONPON 進む 色々なこと どんどん キテる? あなたのキモチ POIPOI 捨てる悪い子はだれ? そうそう いいコ ああ You Make Me Happy Every Day PON Every Time is PON メリーゴーランド のりたいの Every Day PON Every Time is PON たぶん そんなんじゃ ダメでしょ PONPON 出して しまえばいいの ぜんぜん しないの つまらないでしょ ヘッドフォンかけて リズムに乗せて WAYWAY空けて あたしの道を PONPONうぇいうぇいうぇい PONPONうぇいPONうぇいPONPON うぇいうぇいPONPONPON うぇいうぇいPONうぇいPONうぇいうぇ | What if everyone skipped in that intersection, Held hands in the middle of the city and looked up at the sky? If you want to take your chance somewhere in that city then it's still too early to cry. There's nothing to do but move forward, oh no, oh no. PON PON you should let it all out Doing nothing is boring Put on your headphones and get into the rhythm WAY WAY open up a path for me PON PON all these things, one after another Are your feelings driving you crazy? Who's the brat that POI POI throws them out? That's right, sweetie, ah ah You make me happy. Every day is PON Every time is PON I want to ride the merry-go-round! Every day is PON Every time is PON But you can't keep that up for long PON PON you should let it all out Doing nothing is boring Put on your headphones and get into the rhythm WAY WAY open up a path for me PON PON WAY WAY WAY PON PON WAY PON WAY PON PON WAY WAY PON PON PON WAY WAY PON WAY PON WAY WAY |
2011-07-26
How Do You Write そ?
The other day I was teaching a friend some ひらがな. I had explained to him when we got to さ that some ひらがな looks different in print than it does in handwriting. Why? I didn't know. But I was taught to write さ like this:
See, the bottom and top don't touch - つながっていない. As I taught him I showed him the stroke order, and then we looked at a Japanese language learning website so he could see how the ひらがな looks in nice handwriting instead of my chicken scratch.
Then we happened upon そ. Like き and さ, I write it differently than it's seen in print:
It kind of has a てん on top, which isn't connected. I showed him, and then we looked at the site... which had written the character in one stroke instead:
Of course I deferred to the better handwriting, guessing that I had just internalized a certain way of writing based off my own (probably bad) habits. But today I happened upon a site that explained that both forms are completely valid. The only difference is that one is more common than the other, according to the Mr. Hideki Oshiki of the 押木研究室 at Joetsu University of Education:
If you're interested in these kinds of questions, and in trends in calligraphy, the printing of Japanese characters and handwriting, you can find a good deal of information here. There is an English menu as well, and a list of recent updates which aren't reflected on the site's main page.
How do you write そ? Is yours つなげっている？Or つながっていない？
See, the bottom and top don't touch - つながっていない. As I taught him I showed him the stroke order, and then we looked at a Japanese language learning website so he could see how the ひらがな looks in nice handwriting instead of my chicken scratch.
Then we happened upon そ. Like き and さ, I write it differently than it's seen in print:
It kind of has a てん on top, which isn't connected. I showed him, and then we looked at the site... which had written the character in one stroke instead:
社会的にどちらも「そ」という文字として認められています。一般的には「つながった字形」が多く使用されていますが、これは個人の使用に任せられていると考えられます。
Society accepts both forms of the character そ. The "connected form" is typically used more often, but this can be left up to the individual.Mr. Oshiki then goes into the a lot of detail concerning the origin of the character, which type is easier to write/has more 'impact', and how the connected form may have gained more precedence, among other things.
 |
| Image from 押木研究室 |
If you're interested in these kinds of questions, and in trends in calligraphy, the printing of Japanese characters and handwriting, you can find a good deal of information here. There is an English menu as well, and a list of recent updates which aren't reflected on the site's main page.
How do you write そ? Is yours つなげっている？Or つながっていない？
2011-07-25
Part 4 of "Happiness Has the Form of a Kitten" (Otsuichi)
Part One Part Two Part Three
The next day school was over and the sun slid by, marking the evening sky in red. The number of passers-by had dwindled, and there was no one but me at the lake. It was quiet. There was no wind, and the water in front of my eyes, still and without the smallest ripple, seemed like it swallowed every living sound. The lake was silent, a single giant mirror spreading over the land.
The lanterns placed at regular intervals around the lake blinked on. The branches of the trees in the forest arched hungrily toward the water, as if trying to jump in. I sat on one of the benches, and after a while Murai appeared.
"So what'd you call me to this place for?"
He had parked and walked here. I slid down to give him some space, and he sat on the bench with me. The kitten meowed from inside the bag I'd brought with me.
"It looks like you found the kitten," he said.
I nodded and lifted the bag up onto my knees. Inside, there was more than enough room for the kitten. The bell around its neck jingled; it sounded like it was clawing at the inside of the bag.
"I called you here today because I had something to tell you. There's a chance you won't believe me. But since you lost your best friend here at this pond, it's something I have to tell you, no matter what."
And I started to tell him about the Yukimura and the kitten. How I had enrolled in college and started living in my uncle's house. How the previous tenant, who was supposed to have been killed, hadn't left yet. How she wouldn't let me close the curtains in the afternoons. How the kitten followed her invisible owner around, and loved her old clothes.
It grew darker at the lake, and we sat motionlessly in the lantern light. Murai didn't interrupt me, just listened to my voice. When I finished the story, he sighed.
"So that's how it is... Is that all you called me here to say?" he asked. He sounded annoyed. It was clear he didn't believe my words.
I forced myself to look into his eyes. I honestly wanted to look away, to tell him it was all a joke. But I couldn't cover everything over like that. I knew I couldn't run away from the problem.
"After the neighbor, Ms. Kino, brought the kitten back in her arms, there were some things I couldn't stop thinking about. For example, why would Yukimura expose her photo paper to light, making it useless?"
"Yukimura is that person in your story, the one that should be dead, right?"
"The day before yesterday, when the kitten disappeared, Yukimura tore the house apart looking for it. She often moved furniture when I wasn't looking. That's why I didn't realize it at first. I thought that she had moved things in the darkroom, like always. But isn't it strange for her do something as inept as purposefully ruining her photo paper? The drawer was left open and the windows weren't closed! It's inconceivable. Someone who didn't know the darkroom must have come in, searching for something, and left the photo paper exposed to light. That someone had no knowledge of photography, or photo paper. At a glance it looks like normal, white paper, doesn't it? But suddenly the owner of the home returned, and that someone left the darkroom without tidying up. Basically, I came to think that the person who moved things in the dark room wasn't Yukimura after all."
"Hold on a second. You've been saying 'Yukimura such-and-such' from the beginning, but this ghost stuff, it's all a story, isn't it?" He laughed, trying somehow to tear down the serious atmosphere of the moment. But the tranquility of the trees, the lake, didn't allow for that.
"Murai, why did you suggest we have beer the night before last? To make me leave to buy the alcohol, so you would be left alone in the house like you wanted. You already know that I don't drink. You made me go and buy the alcohol because you wanted time to search the house, didn't you?"
The next day school was over and the sun slid by, marking the evening sky in red. The number of passers-by had dwindled, and there was no one but me at the lake. It was quiet. There was no wind, and the water in front of my eyes, still and without the smallest ripple, seemed like it swallowed every living sound. The lake was silent, a single giant mirror spreading over the land.
The lanterns placed at regular intervals around the lake blinked on. The branches of the trees in the forest arched hungrily toward the water, as if trying to jump in. I sat on one of the benches, and after a while Murai appeared.
"So what'd you call me to this place for?"
He had parked and walked here. I slid down to give him some space, and he sat on the bench with me. The kitten meowed from inside the bag I'd brought with me.
"It looks like you found the kitten," he said.
I nodded and lifted the bag up onto my knees. Inside, there was more than enough room for the kitten. The bell around its neck jingled; it sounded like it was clawing at the inside of the bag.
"I called you here today because I had something to tell you. There's a chance you won't believe me. But since you lost your best friend here at this pond, it's something I have to tell you, no matter what."
And I started to tell him about the Yukimura and the kitten. How I had enrolled in college and started living in my uncle's house. How the previous tenant, who was supposed to have been killed, hadn't left yet. How she wouldn't let me close the curtains in the afternoons. How the kitten followed her invisible owner around, and loved her old clothes.
It grew darker at the lake, and we sat motionlessly in the lantern light. Murai didn't interrupt me, just listened to my voice. When I finished the story, he sighed.
"So that's how it is... Is that all you called me here to say?" he asked. He sounded annoyed. It was clear he didn't believe my words.
I forced myself to look into his eyes. I honestly wanted to look away, to tell him it was all a joke. But I couldn't cover everything over like that. I knew I couldn't run away from the problem.
"After the neighbor, Ms. Kino, brought the kitten back in her arms, there were some things I couldn't stop thinking about. For example, why would Yukimura expose her photo paper to light, making it useless?"
"Yukimura is that person in your story, the one that should be dead, right?"
"The day before yesterday, when the kitten disappeared, Yukimura tore the house apart looking for it. She often moved furniture when I wasn't looking. That's why I didn't realize it at first. I thought that she had moved things in the darkroom, like always. But isn't it strange for her do something as inept as purposefully ruining her photo paper? The drawer was left open and the windows weren't closed! It's inconceivable. Someone who didn't know the darkroom must have come in, searching for something, and left the photo paper exposed to light. That someone had no knowledge of photography, or photo paper. At a glance it looks like normal, white paper, doesn't it? But suddenly the owner of the home returned, and that someone left the darkroom without tidying up. Basically, I came to think that the person who moved things in the dark room wasn't Yukimura after all."
"Hold on a second. You've been saying 'Yukimura such-and-such' from the beginning, but this ghost stuff, it's all a story, isn't it?" He laughed, trying somehow to tear down the serious atmosphere of the moment. But the tranquility of the trees, the lake, didn't allow for that.
"Murai, why did you suggest we have beer the night before last? To make me leave to buy the alcohol, so you would be left alone in the house like you wanted. You already know that I don't drink. You made me go and buy the alcohol because you wanted time to search the house, didn't you?"
2011-07-20
"Honto ni Honto ni Gokurousan" - Inugami Circus Dan
犬神サーカス団(Inugami Circus Dan, or the Circus Troupe of the Dog God) has been around for quite a while. Like, since 1872, according to their history. They are alive today because they were resurrected by alchemy in 1994 after a hundred year internment. You see, the 4-members of the band are siblings, children of a famous Noh actor of the Inugami family, which kept a crazed, hatred-filled dog's head with which to curse the unfortunate rival, etc. After a time they set out on their own, traveling around as an actor's troupe in Japan, when in 1894 they were buried alive by those who feared that the four had become possessed. After being resurrected in 1994, as I mentioned before, they began a rock-band, because 「もともとロックという表現形態は、怨念を娯楽化し魂の自由を獲得することを目的とした音楽である。それは迫害されて殺された四人の呪いを世間に放電するのに最適な手段であったのだ。」 That is, "(f)rom the beginning, the way of expression known as "rock" has been a kind of music which endeavours to change hatred to pleasure and gain freedom of the soul. It was the most suitable means by which the persecuted and executed four's curse could be discharged over the world."
If this back story doesn't intrigue you, what will? I've been listening to Inugami Circus Dan since high school, and for all of their dark or off-putting songs -- 「 皆殺しのララバイ」 or "Lullaby for a Massacre" begins 体の中で骨が砕ける, the bones in my body are broken -- they have some fun (and funny) songs. These songs aren't completely devoid of the "this is kind of sad/gross/wrong) factor, but they get a giggle out of me. One of my favourites is ほんとにほんとにご苦労さん. The video is all one-take, and that's pretty impressive too.
| (It's been so bad for you, seriously, thanks for the trouble. It's been hard, let it out, seriously, thanks for the trouble.) Don't you think it's unpleasant, Chief Clerk, sir? You'll never ever be a popular guy but all of your puns are dirty or about you and the people that you talk to only manage a strained smile. Truly truly thanks for all the trouble you went through. Don't you think it's unpleasant, Section Chief, sir? Although you never hear what people have to say you'll muscle your way into a conversation and the stories you tell are always about your manliness. Truly truly thanks for all the trouble you went through. (It's been so bad for you, seriously, thanks for the trouble. It's been hard, let it out, seriously, thanks for the trouble.) Don't you think it's unpleasant, Department Head? Always obsessing over work and work alone you were tossed away by your wife and your kids and now when you retire you will be living on your own. Truly truly thanks for all the trouble you went through. Don't you think it's unpleasant, coworker, sir? When you are on your own you've really got no fight but once you're in a crowd you get carried away and you'll hurt someone and not even think of being contrite. Truly truly thanks for all the trouble you went through. (It's been so bad for you, seriously, thanks for the trouble. It's been hard, let it out, seriously, thanks for the trouble.) Don't you think it's unpleasant, young President? What necktie should you wear today? You can't decide. At the bar you can't decide what drink you want to get. You can't even decide how you should phrase your pick-up lines. Truly truly thanks for all the trouble you went through. Thanks for the trouble, thanks for the trouble, thanks for the trouble. | (もう沢山 かなり悲惨 マジ御苦労さん もう散々 要・発散 マジ御苦労さん) いやじゃありませんか 係長 人気者でもあるまいに ダジャレにシモネタ、自慢ネタ 取引相手も苦笑い ほんとにほんとにほんとにほんとに御苦労さん いやじゃありませんか 課長さん ひとの話は聴かないクセに 突然 会話に割り込んで 語るよいつもの武勇伝 ほんとにほんとにほんとにほんとに御苦労さん (もう沢山 かなり悲惨 マジ御苦労さん もう散々 要・発散 マジ御苦労さん) いやじゃありませんか 部長さん 仕事仕事で気がつけば 女房子供に捨てられて 定年退職一人きり ほんとにほんとにほんとにほんとに御苦労さん いやじゃありませんか 同僚さん 独りだけでは弱いけど 大勢になったら調子こき 平気で誰かを傷つける ほんとにほんとにほんとにほんとに御苦労さん (もう沢山 かなり悲惨 マジ御苦労さん もう散々 要・発散 マジ御苦労さん) いやじゃありませんか 若社長 今日のネクタイ決まらない 飲み屋で注文決まらない くどき文句が決まらない ほんとにほんとにほんとにほんとに御苦労さん 御苦労さん 御苦労さん 御苦労さん |
Here's a bonus video of them playing Matsuda Seiko's pop hit, 夏の扉:
Oh, and they each have a blog.
2011-07-10
Grand Sumo Tournament in Nagoya: Takanoyama Shuntarou
The Grand Sumo Tournament began yesterday in Nagoya. It lasts until the 24th of July. That's a lot of Sumo for any enthusiasts in the Nagoya area. I wonder if my host father as tickets! If you happen to be there try visiting the official event site. Otherwise, you can see match results in English and watch it streaming (if you have WM11 installed) here.
Today the Asahi Shimbun's English edition had an article about a Czech-born wrestler who, after 10 years in Japan, finally moved to the second-highest level, 十両 juuryou,from the third ranking 幕下 makushita division in the wake of a bout-fixing scandal (八百長・やおちょう) that banned many of the top-ranking wrestlers from competition. Incidentally, did you know if you type 相撲 into Google, the third suggestion down is 相撲八百長?
Anyway, what I thought was interesting about the Czech sumou wrestler, whose wrestling name is Takanoyama Shuntarou, was his (comparatively) diminutive stature. And yet he can really hold his own, if this video is any indication. It's a pretty exciting bout.
You may say, "What about the fact that he's a foreigner doing sumou? Isn't that impressive?" I will say I was surprised when I first realized that foreigners did sumou - officially, and in Japan! But yes, foreigners also participate in sumou, and even reach the upper-most ranks. Asashouryuu, who I wrote about earlier, is from Mongolia, for example. Most seem to be from there; others are from places like Russia and Georgia, South Korea, China, even places further abroad such as Brazil and the United States. But I've never seen such a (relatively) tiny sumou wrestler before. I don't watch much sumou, but he's definitely rare for his size. Takanoyama is around 230 pounds, 160 pounds or so lighter than most wrestlers. Of course size is not necessarily a determining factor - there was a sumou wrestler in the late 90's named Mainoumi who was lighter and smaller than Takanoyama (so small that he had silicone implanted in his head to meet the height requirement) and still made his way to the top. Check him out in action:
Takanoyama trains at Naruto Beya in Chiba, which has a 'diary' blog if you're interested in sumou and want to work on your reading skills!
Today the Asahi Shimbun's English edition had an article about a Czech-born wrestler who, after 10 years in Japan, finally moved to the second-highest level, 十両 juuryou,from the third ranking 幕下 makushita division in the wake of a bout-fixing scandal (八百長・やおちょう) that banned many of the top-ranking wrestlers from competition. Incidentally, did you know if you type 相撲 into Google, the third suggestion down is 相撲八百長?
Anyway, what I thought was interesting about the Czech sumou wrestler, whose wrestling name is Takanoyama Shuntarou, was his (comparatively) diminutive stature. And yet he can really hold his own, if this video is any indication. It's a pretty exciting bout.
He doesn't do so well here, though.
You may say, "What about the fact that he's a foreigner doing sumou? Isn't that impressive?" I will say I was surprised when I first realized that foreigners did sumou - officially, and in Japan! But yes, foreigners also participate in sumou, and even reach the upper-most ranks. Asashouryuu, who I wrote about earlier, is from Mongolia, for example. Most seem to be from there; others are from places like Russia and Georgia, South Korea, China, even places further abroad such as Brazil and the United States. But I've never seen such a (relatively) tiny sumou wrestler before. I don't watch much sumou, but he's definitely rare for his size. Takanoyama is around 230 pounds, 160 pounds or so lighter than most wrestlers. Of course size is not necessarily a determining factor - there was a sumou wrestler in the late 90's named Mainoumi who was lighter and smaller than Takanoyama (so small that he had silicone implanted in his head to meet the height requirement) and still made his way to the top. Check him out in action:
Takanoyama trains at Naruto Beya in Chiba, which has a 'diary' blog if you're interested in sumou and want to work on your reading skills!
2011-07-06
Part 3 of "Happiness Has the Form of a Kitten" (Otsuichi)
Part 1 Part 2
It happened the last week of June. That day it was clear all morning, with no sign of anything that might obstruct the sun. The rain started in the evening, so I ended up soaked on my walk home from school. Naturally, I had left the house without an umbrella, but I didn't even think of stopping on the way home to buy one. I wasn't carrying anything that couldn't get wet.
There was no one around the lake that I always passed by. Wooden benches were installed at regular intervals, turned lonesomely toward the water. The opposite bank of the lake, blurred with rain, was foggy, and a haze hung between the water and the woods. There was no sign of life; the quiet sound of rain alone reigned over the lake and woods. My eyes were arrested by the unearthly scene, and I stood for a long while staring at the water. It was so cold the early summer seemed like a lie.
The quiet lake that spread before my eyes had stolen Murai's friend away. Its waters reflected an ash-colored sky. I was walking toward the lake as if being sucked in, but I didn't realize this until I was stopped by a thin fence.
The thought that Murai's friend might still be near this lake remained with me. They said his body had been removed. But he could still be there, like Yukimura, rising, sinking into the lake again and again. I thought it would be worth it to search the area more thoroughly. Even if he wasn't visible to human eyes, maybe the kitten would be able to find him. Murai needed to speak with his dead friend. That's what I thought. I had to come here with the kitten sometime.
I left the lake and began to walk home. When I got home, there might be a towel ready for me in the entryway. She could know that I'd be coming home soaked, and wait for me with dry clothes. Maybe she'd put out hot coffee to warm me up.
I felt an incomprehensible pain. I wondered how long this lifestyle could last. She would leave at some point. To that place where everyone goes eventually. Why didn't she leave now? Did she decide not to the moment she lost her life? Maybe she worried about the kitten she would leave behind.
The police said that the person who stabbed Yukimura was a robber. They still hadn't found the culprit. Once in a while police officers would come to the house, talk, and leave. While it was obvious she was loved by everyone, she didn't appear to have any close friends her age in the neighborhood. It couldn't be said that the crime was committed by someone she knew, just that she was attacked, unfortunately, by a robber who had come randomly to the house. It was a sad accident, equal to being struck by lightning and killed, or dying in an airplane crash.
In this world, there are many things that make you want to lose hope. Both Murai and I don't have the power to oppose that; all we can do is fall onto our knees and pray to God. We must wait for the sadness to pass over us with closed eyes and stopped ears, curled into ourselves.
What could I do for Yukimura?
It happened the last week of June. That day it was clear all morning, with no sign of anything that might obstruct the sun. The rain started in the evening, so I ended up soaked on my walk home from school. Naturally, I had left the house without an umbrella, but I didn't even think of stopping on the way home to buy one. I wasn't carrying anything that couldn't get wet.
There was no one around the lake that I always passed by. Wooden benches were installed at regular intervals, turned lonesomely toward the water. The opposite bank of the lake, blurred with rain, was foggy, and a haze hung between the water and the woods. There was no sign of life; the quiet sound of rain alone reigned over the lake and woods. My eyes were arrested by the unearthly scene, and I stood for a long while staring at the water. It was so cold the early summer seemed like a lie.
The quiet lake that spread before my eyes had stolen Murai's friend away. Its waters reflected an ash-colored sky. I was walking toward the lake as if being sucked in, but I didn't realize this until I was stopped by a thin fence.
The thought that Murai's friend might still be near this lake remained with me. They said his body had been removed. But he could still be there, like Yukimura, rising, sinking into the lake again and again. I thought it would be worth it to search the area more thoroughly. Even if he wasn't visible to human eyes, maybe the kitten would be able to find him. Murai needed to speak with his dead friend. That's what I thought. I had to come here with the kitten sometime.
I left the lake and began to walk home. When I got home, there might be a towel ready for me in the entryway. She could know that I'd be coming home soaked, and wait for me with dry clothes. Maybe she'd put out hot coffee to warm me up.
I felt an incomprehensible pain. I wondered how long this lifestyle could last. She would leave at some point. To that place where everyone goes eventually. Why didn't she leave now? Did she decide not to the moment she lost her life? Maybe she worried about the kitten she would leave behind.
The police said that the person who stabbed Yukimura was a robber. They still hadn't found the culprit. Once in a while police officers would come to the house, talk, and leave. While it was obvious she was loved by everyone, she didn't appear to have any close friends her age in the neighborhood. It couldn't be said that the crime was committed by someone she knew, just that she was attacked, unfortunately, by a robber who had come randomly to the house. It was a sad accident, equal to being struck by lightning and killed, or dying in an airplane crash.
In this world, there are many things that make you want to lose hope. Both Murai and I don't have the power to oppose that; all we can do is fall onto our knees and pray to God. We must wait for the sadness to pass over us with closed eyes and stopped ears, curled into ourselves.
What could I do for Yukimura?
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